Home
by Selena Marie Weasley
Summary: "And she realizes she's always had someone to come home to as well. Barry is her home." Set during 2x20 from Iris' POV and how she reacts to losing Barry. Two shot. Barry/Iris. Part 2 is now up as my own idea for how I think they will reunite in 2x21 from Barry's POV. Now complete.
1. Chapter 1

**So here is my two-shot based off of 2x20 and kind of 2x21. This first part is from Iris' POV and I added a little scene in, otherwise I think it's pretty close to what actually happens in the episode. Also, I am horrible with all of the scientific stuff so I apologize in advance with my description of the particle accelerator explosion. Oh and part 2 should be up later today hopefully. Enjoy!**

* * *

She walks away from him. It hurts that he's not stopping her, but she understands because she knows him. Knows she just kind of sprang her feelings on him out of nowhere, knows he's trying not to get too excited. She saw the smile on his face, the way he fidgeted, how he brought his hands to face like he couldn't believe what she was saying. The hope etched on his face.

He let her walk away. He didn't say anything.

She tries not to think about that, especially since she wore her heart on her sleeve, something she rarely does. Because she also knows that he's loved her for a long time, since before he knew what the word love meant. And she hasn't necessarily helped his hope that she would ever feel the same way. She knows that is entirely her fault that he's guarded now with his feelings for her, trying not to get his hopes up. But she saw it, her never stopped loving her. He loves her. And she understands that right now he has a lot on his mind. Zoom. The particle accelerator. And now her feelings. But she's hopeful too. That maybe now they have a chance. Have a future. Once they figure things out.

As she walks down the hallway, tears run down her face, not because he didn't stop her but because she's so scared to lose him. Scared that he'll go through with this incredibly stupid plan. But he's a hero, always has been, and he wants and needs to save the city from Zoom. She won't stop him, won't tell him not to do it, but she just couldn't keep her feelings in anymore, had to let him know that she wants a future with him.

* * *

After Zoom's cop massacre at Jitters, Iris knew Barry was going to go through with it. But he still pulls her to the side to let her know.

"Iris, I have to-"

"I know," she cuts him off with a sad smile. "I know you do."

She watches the way he wrings his hands, nervous and scared. Just like she is. Scared like hell that something is going to happen to him, that something will go wrong (like it usually does). As much as she hates it this is the best plan they have to even attempt to stop Zoom before he terrorizes the city even more, there is no other choice.

"I-," he starts to speak only to stop, raising a hand to the back of his head.

"Come here," she mumbled and then moves towards him, throwing her arms around him and bringing him in close for a hug. His body practically sinks in to hers as he hides his face in her neck, hands gripping her shirt on her lower back. One of her hands rubs his back and she closes her eyes and focuses on being in the safety of his arms and his breath against her neck.

And she realizes she's always had someone to come home to as well. Barry is her home.

A shaky breath escapes her and his hand on her tightens. "I'm scared, Iris," he speaks into her neck and he she can feel the movement of his lips against her skin and she's sure that in any other situation his lips on her neck like that would send a shiver through her body, that she would most definitely react to it, but right that's the last thing on her mind.

"Me too," she whispers in to his shoulder.

* * *

From the side she looks on as Barry steps into the machine, watches as he winces as the clamps latch on to his hands. He reassures her dad that he'll be fine, but she hears the slight shake in his voice.

Taking a deep breath she walks closer and his head turns towards her the pain and fear disappears for just as moment as his eyes take her in. And she just wants to remember the way he looks at her for as long as she can.

"Barry, whatever happens, it will never change the way I feel about you," she tells him fighting back tears.

She needs him to know that it's _him_ she loves, _him_ that she will always love; however this ends. He says nothing, but his mouth turns up in a smile and he nods. For a moment she keeps her eyes locked on his trying to silently reassure him that she's not going anywhere. Reluctantly, she breaks eye contact (if she didn't she wasn't sure she would ever move away from him) and steps way so Henry can have his turn to talk with his son.

There's a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach as the glass doors close around Barry. But when she watches the chemicals being injected into his body she feels sick, tastes the bile in her throat. She can't help but react, to yell at Wells, wonder what the hell he is doing, why he's hurting Barry. In the back of her mind it makes some sense, but right now she can't be logical when Barry's hurting because it's causing her pain too.

"I'm okay, Iris," he somehow manages to get his words out in a grunt to try and calm her.

It hits her full force that he's reassuring _her._ She wants to shake her head, to be amused. If anything it makes her love him even more than she thought possible. That even though he's in unbearable pain and terrified he's comforting _her,_ worried about _her_ because she's worried about _him_. God, she fucking loves this man, this wonderful man who always puts other people before himself, to a sometimes frustrating degree when he shouldn't, when he should be worried about himself. All she wants to do is get those doors open and comfort him, but she can't and that kills her. She wants to yell to him that she loves him that everything's okay even though it's far from it but her heart is in her throat; she wants to do something, anything to ease his pain.

Then the particle accelerator is activated and he screams and so does she. "Barry!" Tears are streaming down her face and she doesn't even care.

She's screaming for him, a sob ripping from her throat as a bright orange light that looks like fire surrounds him. The light is blinding and causes her to blink and when she opens her eyes the next second he's gone.

She can't breathe. It feels like her heart has been torn from her chest.

"No!" she cries. She ignores the yelling around her, doesn't notice Cisco coming in. Her eyes are zeroed in on the spot where he should be. Only part of his suit is left.

Then there's a flash of blue lightning and Zoom's there, picking up Barry's suit and she wants to run up to him and take the suit from his clawed hand, he shouldn't be touching it, but she's frozen in place. Her ears don't quite register Zoom's threatening words; only her own sobs and his name in her head.

 _Barry. Barry. Barry._

Her father brings her into his arms, which is good because her knees are wobbly and unsteady like she could fall to the ground any second. She lets her arms go around her dad and tries to take comfort in him, but she just can't. It feels like her whole world has been destroyed, taken right out from under her.

Out of the corner of her eye she sees Henry staring at the same spot she is. Everyone in this room just lost Barry, but somehow she can't process that, all she feels is her own pain.

And soon Harry leaves, and then Henry.

She breaks away from her dad and runs and falls to her knees in front of the remaining piece of Barry's suit with the emblem still in tact. She clutches the singed fabric to her chest, murmuring his name over and over; she's hunched over crying her eyes out. No one disturbs her. And she feels likes she's missing a part of her. Her other half. She cries and screams until her voice is raw and her throat sore and her eyes red.

Eventually Cisco leads her out of the room, but she refuses to let go of the suit, it's her only connection to him right now. The sound of voices around her is only a low hum; she can't even make out who is speaking. She hears something about Wally and Jesse, but doesn't pay attention. All she can see is that orange light consuming him. She doesn't think she'll ever be able to forget that.

That night she somehow convinces her dad that she'll be fine. Maybe he doesn't feel like fighting her well aware of her stubborn streak. So she goes to Barry's room, puts on his clothes that still smell like him and crawls in to his bed. Sleep doesn't come easily. Afraid to close her eyes but at the same time so exhausted that all she wants to do is sleep it off, hoping that this is all some fucked up dream.

Only there's a picture on his nightstand of the two of them, taken before the original particle accelerator explosion, both grinning like idiots at each other, not even looking at the camera. Like they were the only two people in the world. She's never paid much attention to the photo, but now that she is she notices the way Barry is looking at her, like he's so in love with her that nothing but her matters. So she cries herself to sleep staring at the photo.

The nightmare she has is the first of many she will have every night. Nightmares that always start with her and Barry happily together and in love and end with him being taken away from her by the orange light. Even with the nightmares sleep is difficult to come by. She throws herself into helping keep the city safe from Zoom and other meta-humans and she takes it upon herself to help Jesse and Wally with their new powers. It doesn't leave a lot of time for her to take care of herself, which she doesn't mind; she just needs to keep busy so she won't think about him. That's what nights are for. Otherwise she hides her emotions. She doesn't talk as much and rarely smiles anymore, but she stays a part of the team because she's doing it for Barry. She also spends a lot of time in the breach room, just sitting there thinking. And hates herself for not telling him sooner, for walking away when she could have stayed, for all the what-ifs. And now he's gone and she'll never know what they could have been.

It's a week later when Harry and Cisco announce that he might still be alive that he's just trapped somewhere. Cisco tries to vibe him, but she can't be in the room. Can't let the hope creep it's way in to her head and heart only for nothing to come of it and shatter her beyond repair. She just can't let herself believe the possibility that he's alive. Which crushes her because he always believed in the impossible, he made her believe in the impossible and now she's lost without him. Lost without her home.


	2. Chapter 2

Here's Part 2 of Home from Barry's POV. This version of a reunion between them wouldn't leave me alone after watching 2x20 so here it is. It takes place sometime either during or after 2x21. I don't think this will happen in the episode. Also, I have no idea where Barry is I've seen some people say he's trapped in the speed force so that's what I'm going with. Otherwise I'm not really speculating about what happens there and being very vague about it.

Anyway, enjoy part 2 and thanks for all the views, favorites, and reviews from part 1!

* * *

He remembers the pain.

He remembers Iris screaming his name.

 _I'm okay, Iris._

Remembers trying to reassure her that he was okay even though he was in so much pain he could barely speak or think straight.

Remembers that the only thing he could think about was her. How he couldn't stand seeing her so distressed because _he's_ in pain and it's hurting _her._

Remembers that he didn't want her to be there, to see him likes this, but she's stubborn as hell and there's no way she wouldn't be there.

He screams and she screams as he's surrounded by what feels like fire.

The last thing he remembers is Iris' face her eyes locked on his complete and utter fear clear on her face.

Then he's gone.

 _Iris. Iris. Iris._

* * *

He walks into the cortex still a little disoriented from his time in the speed force. Cisco is next to him grinning like mad, and he's sure that he would be too if he wasn't still trying to process everything, that and Cisco has been filling him in on all that he's missed which is quite a bit apparently.

Quickly his eyes dart across the room to see who's there. Wells, Joe, Jesse, and Wally. He knows his dad is at his new place, but right away he notices that she's not there. But before he can say anything Joe has him wrapped in a tight hug, so tight he can barely breathe, but he's not going to complain because it feels so damn good. He hugs his father figure back tears burning in his eyes.

They don't say anything for a few minutes and when Joe pulls away tears in his own eyes. "Glad to have you back, Bear."

He nods, the right words aren't coming to him right now, but Joe seems to understand. He's looking around the room again and she's still not there. And all of the sudden the worst possible scenarios are forming in his head and all he knows is that he needs to see her.

"Iris," he says. "Where's Iris?" He looks at Joe trying not to panic when something he can't quite interpret passes over his face. "Is she okay?"

"She's fine," Joe tells him but that does nothing to ease his worrying. "She's in the breach room. Spends most of her time there."

He doesn't give himself time to think about why she's been the breach room he speeds himself there and pauses in the doorway when he sees her. She's sitting on the steps in front of the machine.

"Iris," he breathes out, quiet enough that she doesn't hear. "Iris," he says again louder.

She turns at the sound of her name and his breath catches in his throat. She looks at him like he's not real, but he weakly smiles at her before his feet are moving him towards her by their own volition. She's wearing one of his plaid shirts with a pair of leggings and no make up, she looks like hell, and yet she's still the most beautiful thing in the world to him. The surprise is evident on her face as she stands there with her mouth open forming a small o.

When he's standing in front of her she whispers a quiet, "no."

His fingers close around her wrist and then he's tugging her towards him, briefly resting his forehead against hers, hears her breath hitch before crashing his lips to hers. Her hands fist in to his shirt holding on with all she has as she opens her mouth to him and he sighs into her as she matches his desperation. Desperate to taste and feel her to remind himself that she's real. That this is real. The kiss is frantic as he tries to make up for lost time. He's not exactly sure how long he was gone but it felt like an eternity without her. So he breathes her in as their lips move in tandem. He's pouring everything he has into the kiss and so is she. And he's kissing her and kissing her, he's not sure how much time as passed but he really couldn't give a shit. It's when one of his hands slip under her shirt and touches her soft warm skin of her waist that she freezes.

Then all of the sudden she's wrenching herself away from him, shoving at his chest. He lets out a grunt of surprise stumbling backwards slightly from the force of her hands. All he can do is stare at her in shock, wondering where the hell this is coming from but then he sees the anger burning in her eyes, the set of her mouth as she glares at him.

She pushes his chest again and he lets her. He could easily take a hold of her hands and stop her, but he knows she would hate that even more so he lets her vent, because he really is curious, he honestly thought she would be just as happy to see him as he is.

"I hate you, I hate you so fucking much, Barry Allen," she yells pounding her fists against his chest. "How dare you just walk in here and kiss me like that. Like you have the right to kiss me. You can't do this to me! You can't make me love you like this and then just _die._ You can't-you can't," she shaking her head tears coursing down her cheeks and he feels his own tears pricking in his eyes at her words, his heart breaking for her. "I hate you," she repeats over and over her hits are getting weaker and weaker and he can feel the fight leaving her body so he carefully grabs both of her wrist when she tries to hit him again. "Fuck you for making me love you like this."

"Iris."

She struggles in his grasp for a moment trying to fight him, but he just holds her hands still and when her shoulders sag he easily tucks her into his chest, his arms wrapping around her. Her head is pressing into his chest like she's trying to burrow her way inside of him; he just holds her tighter absorbing the shudders going through her body as she sobs mumbling how much she hates him into his shirt.

He buries his face into her hair silently apologizing even though it was technically out of his control. And finally he lets go of his tears as they drop into her hair. He cries out of relief that he found his way back to her. He cries because of how much his disappearing hurt her. And he cries because he thought he would be trapped in the speed force forever, thought he wouldn't even come home. Home to her. But he came back to her like he always would.

"You left me," she whispers after a few minutes her voice cracking and broken. Her words are like a punch to the gut and he knows he has to fix this.

"Hey, hey, look at me, Iris," he says gently pushing her back, almost reluctantly so because it feels so damn good to hold her in his arms. His fingers wipe the tears from her face and she sniffs a couple of times but listens to him, looking him right in the eyes.

 _Whatever happens, it will never change the way I feel about you._

He sees it in her eyes, how much she loves him. He's still at a lost as to why she loves him, he never thought she would, that when she finally moved on from Eddie it wouldn't be him. And he hates himself for letting her walking away that day, for not stopping her and telling her that _god yes he still wants to._

"Remember what you said to me?" he asks.

"What?" her brow furrows slightly.

"That I've always had someone to come home to?"

He knows the moment the realization hits her because her eyes widen and he sees the hope in her eyes and he just grins at her

"I'm home, Iris."


End file.
